When you start browsing the internet in search for ways to improve your sex life, you’ll come across so many programs and trainings. They’ll all claim to have some sort of secret to unlocking your full sexual pleasure. But the truth is much simpler than that. You can start living your best sex life without spending a bunch of hours and money on it.
Here are the three simple steps to start experiencing as much sexual pleasure as possible.
Step 1: Get to Know Your Body.
We often expect our partner to know what brings us pleasure without us really knowing how our own body works. Whether you’ve been led to believe that masturbation is wrong, or that women don’t need it, it’s time to leave those ideas behind.
Every body is different. There is no one secret recipe for everyone’s pleasure. What makes one person feel good does nothing for someone else. But the only way to know what brings you pleasure is to experiment. Only when you find which spots do the trick for you, you’ll know how to instruct your partner.
Step 2: Focus on the Present Moment.
What goes through your mind when you’re having sex? It’s usually anything from the bills you forgot to pay to that presentation you have tomorrow. And even if you’re focused on the act itself, it tends to be in the negative light, doesn’t it?
“I must look so bad, look at all this cellulite and extra kilos!”
“Why did I just do that? He must think I’m an idiot!”
“I’m never going to reach an orgasm and it sucks so much.”
And so on, and so forth.
So what should you be thinking about, then?
Well… Nothing. Focus on the sensations and every little bit of pleasure you’re experiencing. Don’t just think about sex as something that leads from point A (foreplay) to point B (orgasm). Think of it as a wonderful experience in its entirety. By feeling every sensation, you’re a lot more likely to reach an orgasm eventually. But if you’re constantly in your own head, it’s not very probable.
Step 3: Communicate Openly.
I already wrote about telling your partner you’re not sexually satisfied in one of my previous articles. This time, it’s not just about not being satisfied. Sex is a process where two people need to communicate if it’s to be fully pleasurable. If you’re expecting your partner to read your mind about where to touch you and how, you won’t be getting a lot from lovemaking. Now, you might fear that it may hurt his ego to know he’s doing something wrong. Make sure to tell him that you don’t expect him to know your body as well as you do. What you should expect him to do, however, is be ready to listen and try what makes you feel good. If there are things he’s not willing to do, talk about them openly. And if you can’t reach a compromise, looking for couples therapy is perfectly okay.
And there you have it - three simple ways to improve your sex life without expensive trainings and classes! If you want to know more, also check out these couple of books that will give you the ins and outs of great relationships (and great sex!)